I cannot sleep in the AC anymore

The heat can be too bearable sometimes. It can crawl into the skin and just settle there. I cannot tell if I don't like the AC myself or if it is the comfortable settling of the humid air into my pores that makes my body ache when I try to lay in the freon-full cold air. I just cannot sleep in the AC anymore.

Last month in Lahore, I tried to sleep with the fan on. The fans in Lahore in my grandmother's home are faster than the ones in our house in Islamabad. I couldn't sleep then too. Maybe its something about forcing the body into an electricity induced circulation of (fake)cold air that my body rejects.


We didn't use to have AC's before. I think global warming got the best of us. Just how we never upgraded our TV from 2001, we never felt the need for an AC in our house that is surrounded by tall trees all around the walls. But global warming, and globalization are starting to get the best of us. I have bought an android phone, my grand father installed an LCD on the wall of his room, and mother now watches TV serials on the PC.

I blame Consumerism for everything.

I cannot sleep anymore because the deforestation of the hills around Islamabad has made the air too thick to breathe. The trees are being cut by people who want to make hill houses like the ones in movies in Hollywood. Except Hollywood has a plethora of forest land to rely on if they cut 4000 square feet of land to make a house. I don't think us Pakistanis can afford that. But we can afford AC's. and tiles with fading colors, and designer lawn. All so that we can breathe artificially cold air in our homes as the septic from our drains creeps into the only river the town has known.

The fan is enough for me. My 15k PKR phone is enough for me. My public transport life is enough for me. My tailor-made shirts are enough for me. My cheap Servis/Bata boots are enough for me.

But their air; it's never enough. My skin has gotten too used to it being light and now that my night grinding is rubbing away my teeth slowly, I think I'll blame the air. The air wants me to become plastic. The air forces me into nightmares because of it's thickness. The air wants my real teeth to fade away so I can get implants. Fake teeth. Just like the world.

The air is fake, and i'm fighting it. I don't know how long I can hold on.

I don't know how long I can keep my teeth.