Learning to be Selfish

Sunday, October 01, 2017

You cannot please everyone. Yes. No matter how hard you try, you will be shunned by the people whom you've loved with all your heart and cared for over the years. People whom you've given all of your time, mind and energy to will eventually find things to dislike about you and then go on to treat you based on those certain things. You will be heart broken and you will try your best to fix things.

Some things are just not gonna get fixed.

That includes people's opinion of you.

This year, I have realized that my opinion of me is more important than the opinion of anyone else. Because in the heart of our heart, we know who we are, where our motives lie and what we're willing to take and give away.

As I'm growing I'm realizing that to some people you will be an asshole, and that it's ok. Even if you're not a bad person, it's ok. You have to put your needs before anything else. And what people think of you is not what you need. Maybe you want to know that. But do you really need to?

That doesn't justify unnecessary rude and unkind behavior though. You have always got to be more kind. You will never regret being kind. But sometimes, too much kindness can be taken for granted, so much so that the person you're being kind to will not be appreciative of who you are, what you're doing and where you are in life.

You will then have to put yourself first.

For me, it's been a tough year. I lost a lot of my friends and respect in a lot of people's eyes when i started not taking any BS. As we grow, we expand our energies, and into our lives come more and more things to evolve at and grow into. I wanted to focus on that. But when people start acting like they deserve our energies as their energies clash with ours, I think it's ok to step back and take a break. Do it kindly and calmly. The other person might not understand where you're coming from. In my case, they didn't. And it's tough to lose people. But it's even tougher to put yourself first. I'm learning that. I am re-learning to love myself in realms I hadn't thought of before. Letting go of  emotionally abusive relationships.

And letting go of relationships where I was the abuser. Yes, I admit I'm not perfect. It's better not to hurt someone else as well no matter how much you love them.

I have to be kind to myself too. I think I forgot that along the way.

Self love. Selfishness. Self awareness. The needs of the spiritual being. They come first. And if you have to be considered an asshole to get what your self needs, then be it.

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  1. Another excellent piece. I was actually talking to my sister today about the importance of self care, and impossible it is to make everyone happy. God bless you 🙏❤️


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