Am I a Bigot for calling out my loved ones on their bad habits if itupsets me?
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jB9fuZzpnPU]
I was just thinking that ever since I took a break from instagram, and posting outfit photos, I have realized that I don't do it for the validation or the likes. Sometimes, dressing up is all about feeling good about one's own self. Its just that the insta-fame can sometimes make you forget it.
Its been two weeks I've been off social media. Its a strange feeling to let go of the rush of a multitude of likes, or replies to my selfies telling me how good I look.
Anyway, my illness is taking a toll on my skin. I have dark circles and am starting to break out. I am trying to not stress out but I can't seem to focus. I am trying though. Giving it my all to recover. But the limited movement of my body due to my surgery can sometimes bring me down.
I ordered the Mizon Snail repair eye cream from The Skin Maskuerade, they were out of the Petitfee hydrogel eye patches so I'm just upset over that. I ordered the Benton Snail Bee Essence and Secret Key First Treatment Essence. I am excited to feed my skin. I would also like to mention that these purchases were all done at around 1-2am and were anxiety induced impulse cravings.
And I am trying to feed my soul too. I have started sharing quotes on whatsapp. I think the thing about me is, i have always been a sharer of ideas and good thoughts.
I got called out last night by a friend for not believing in the quotes I share because I don't follow them myself and judge people. I think I judge what people do to me. But i am wondering if it is ok to judge people based on their habits instead of one off events. How many times can you give a person the benefit of the doubt? Of course everyone says they've got their bad habits in control and they're shunning them, but it is so easy to relapse. And unless the triggers are controlled, and one takes full responsibility instead of placing the blame, i think its difficult to change.
I've been talking to a lot of people lately, of my age, about the struggles of getting better. I don't know what it is really, but there's a lack of...push(?) that comes from the inside to get out of self sabotaging attitudes. I find for me, its very easy to blame my surgery when it comes to my current state where I should be working. But health is a valid reason? Is it?
I want to admit that I think I judge people; and when I do, I make sure to remind myself that judgment is relative and then I make sure to say "this is not something I would want for myself, and that doesn't mean I should stop others/wouldn't work for them."
Its easy to do with strangers but it gets very tough to isolate one's judgement from the life of the people close to one. I am now learning to navigate the conflict that comes at this stage. But there has to be a limit right?
My mental health comes first, and if a person in my life doesn't get that, I don't need them, I suppose.
Lets see how things go in the coming days.
P.S. I have been finding a lot of time with my thoughts, alone, as I am battling my sickness. So maybe lets just call it overthinking.
Header image via fuckingyoung.es
