Bullying Do's and Don't and My Commentary
(Found on The American Psychological Association)
[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="718" caption="Why Are We Afraid to Speak Up/Out"]
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With a little commentary of my own in the brackets, bolded.
Do:
1. Respond to any bullying incident that you witness. Most bullying takes place in “unowned spaces” like hallways, playgrounds and restrooms where adult supervision is minimal (Astor, Meyer, & Behre, 1999). It is important for teachers to be more visible in these places and to respond to all bullying incidents that they witness. A response by a teacher communicates to bullies that their actions are not acceptable and it helps victims feel less powerless about their predicament. The frequent presence of teachers in all areas of the school helps give students a feeling of safety. Teachers should also keep an eye on students who are physically smaller than their peers, or who behave or look different from others, since these variables often serve as risk factors for bullying. (So parents and teachers need to be on the look out for what's going on. Just because a person is smiling doesn't mean he/she is happy. Pay heed to everything; bullying happens at even the most unexpected places.)
2. Use witnessed bullying incidents as “teachable moments.” Teachable moments are defined as situations that open the door for conversations with students about difficult topics. These may include: why many young people play bystander roles and/or are unwilling to come to the aid of victims, how social ostracism can be a particularly painful form of peer abuse, and why bullies are sometimes popular among their peers. An effective way to send the message that bullying will not be tolerated is to engage students in these difficult dialogues rather than to quickly and harshly punish the perpetrator. (Bridge the communication gap between the bully and the victim. This communication will help us get a clearer idea of both the people; a picture has two sides to it and only after seeing both of them you are able to judge something and make a decision. This ignorance will only create further problems and can have drastic effects on both the bully and the victim)
3. Seek outside help when needed. Most teachers do not have the training to deal with students who have serious problems as either perpetrators or victims of bullying. Hence, they should request professional assistance when it is needed either from the principal, a school counselor or the school psychologist. Although bullying in American schools affects the lives of many youth, about 10 percent of students are chronic bullies or victims and they may be at risk for long-term adjustment difficulties (Juvonen, Graham, & Schuster, 2003; Nansel et al., 2001). (And there is nothing wrong with going to a psychologist for it! It's your right to feel better and good about yourself, so do as much as you can to make yourself feel good. Going to a doctor/psychologist does not mean you're a freak; it only means you love yourself)
4. Set an example with your own behavior. Unfortunately, peer bullying also occurs among educators and between educators and students (e.g., Brendgen, Wanner, & Vitaro, 2006). It is critically important that adults in school settings refrain from targeting each other and from targeting students. (You are the change you need to bring and once you start thinking positively, you'll see the change. Always have hope and keep being good. It includes adults and children alike)
Don't:
1. Never ignore a student who reports being victimized by peers. Victims of peer bullying are often reluctant to tell their teachers about their experiences because they fear retaliation. Others who avoid disclosure believe that their teachers do not care or are unwilling to come to their aid. Because so many victims of school bullying “suffer in silence” it is important that teachers follow up on every reported incident. (this leads to a feeling of being neglected and nobody like to be neglected. When the world all around us seems not to care, we can only think of the worst. Parents and children and friends need to hold hands and understand what a person is going through. Without any support, it's really hard for the victim to think through life in a positive way)
2. Do not rely too heavily on a zero-tolerance approach to disciplining bullies. Zero tolerance approaches that advocate suspension or expulsion of school bullies are sometimes preferred because they presumably send a message to the student body that bullying will not be tolerated. However, research suggests that these policies do not always work as intended and can sometimes backfire (APA Task Force on Zero Tolerance, 2008). Before deciding on a discipline strategy, teachers need to give careful thought to the scope of the problem, where change should be targeted, who will be affected by those changes, the fairness of the strategy, and the kinds of messages that are being communicated to students. (Excess of everything is bad. Everything needs to be though through properly and then initiated. It's a tough thing to do and may take time to think through, but it's more effective and much better than instant and bad decisions)
3. Do not adopt a one-size fits all model for intervening in school bullying. Because bullying can take many forms (e.g., psychological versus physical), it may be temporary or chronic. Because bullies and their victims have different challenges, teachers need to tailor their intervention approaches to the specific needs of each child. (same as i said before in Don't Point#2)
4. Do not let the peer group off the hook. Bullying involves more than perpetrators and victims. Students are often witnesses to bullying incidents and may take on roles of bystanders or reinforcers who encourage bullies (Salimalvalli, 2001). Peers need to learn that there is no such thing as an innocent bystander, and how their group behavior can indirectly encourage bullies. (Stop Bullying, Speak UP! I know it takes a lot of courage to stand up to the bully, even if the bully is your friend but believe me, a friend who's not understanding of what's right and what's wrong is not worth your friendship! So speak up and don't fear, life's too short to live in regrets, when you can actually do something about something)
COURTESY:Standing Up For Victims of Bullies (Child or Adult)
[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="718" caption="Why Are We Afraid to Speak Up/Out"]
[/caption]With a little commentary of my own in the brackets, bolded.
Do:
1. Respond to any bullying incident that you witness. Most bullying takes place in “unowned spaces” like hallways, playgrounds and restrooms where adult supervision is minimal (Astor, Meyer, & Behre, 1999). It is important for teachers to be more visible in these places and to respond to all bullying incidents that they witness. A response by a teacher communicates to bullies that their actions are not acceptable and it helps victims feel less powerless about their predicament. The frequent presence of teachers in all areas of the school helps give students a feeling of safety. Teachers should also keep an eye on students who are physically smaller than their peers, or who behave or look different from others, since these variables often serve as risk factors for bullying. (So parents and teachers need to be on the look out for what's going on. Just because a person is smiling doesn't mean he/she is happy. Pay heed to everything; bullying happens at even the most unexpected places.)
2. Use witnessed bullying incidents as “teachable moments.” Teachable moments are defined as situations that open the door for conversations with students about difficult topics. These may include: why many young people play bystander roles and/or are unwilling to come to the aid of victims, how social ostracism can be a particularly painful form of peer abuse, and why bullies are sometimes popular among their peers. An effective way to send the message that bullying will not be tolerated is to engage students in these difficult dialogues rather than to quickly and harshly punish the perpetrator. (Bridge the communication gap between the bully and the victim. This communication will help us get a clearer idea of both the people; a picture has two sides to it and only after seeing both of them you are able to judge something and make a decision. This ignorance will only create further problems and can have drastic effects on both the bully and the victim)
3. Seek outside help when needed. Most teachers do not have the training to deal with students who have serious problems as either perpetrators or victims of bullying. Hence, they should request professional assistance when it is needed either from the principal, a school counselor or the school psychologist. Although bullying in American schools affects the lives of many youth, about 10 percent of students are chronic bullies or victims and they may be at risk for long-term adjustment difficulties (Juvonen, Graham, & Schuster, 2003; Nansel et al., 2001). (And there is nothing wrong with going to a psychologist for it! It's your right to feel better and good about yourself, so do as much as you can to make yourself feel good. Going to a doctor/psychologist does not mean you're a freak; it only means you love yourself)
4. Set an example with your own behavior. Unfortunately, peer bullying also occurs among educators and between educators and students (e.g., Brendgen, Wanner, & Vitaro, 2006). It is critically important that adults in school settings refrain from targeting each other and from targeting students. (You are the change you need to bring and once you start thinking positively, you'll see the change. Always have hope and keep being good. It includes adults and children alike)
Don't:
1. Never ignore a student who reports being victimized by peers. Victims of peer bullying are often reluctant to tell their teachers about their experiences because they fear retaliation. Others who avoid disclosure believe that their teachers do not care or are unwilling to come to their aid. Because so many victims of school bullying “suffer in silence” it is important that teachers follow up on every reported incident. (this leads to a feeling of being neglected and nobody like to be neglected. When the world all around us seems not to care, we can only think of the worst. Parents and children and friends need to hold hands and understand what a person is going through. Without any support, it's really hard for the victim to think through life in a positive way)
2. Do not rely too heavily on a zero-tolerance approach to disciplining bullies. Zero tolerance approaches that advocate suspension or expulsion of school bullies are sometimes preferred because they presumably send a message to the student body that bullying will not be tolerated. However, research suggests that these policies do not always work as intended and can sometimes backfire (APA Task Force on Zero Tolerance, 2008). Before deciding on a discipline strategy, teachers need to give careful thought to the scope of the problem, where change should be targeted, who will be affected by those changes, the fairness of the strategy, and the kinds of messages that are being communicated to students. (Excess of everything is bad. Everything needs to be though through properly and then initiated. It's a tough thing to do and may take time to think through, but it's more effective and much better than instant and bad decisions)
3. Do not adopt a one-size fits all model for intervening in school bullying. Because bullying can take many forms (e.g., psychological versus physical), it may be temporary or chronic. Because bullies and their victims have different challenges, teachers need to tailor their intervention approaches to the specific needs of each child. (same as i said before in Don't Point#2)
4. Do not let the peer group off the hook. Bullying involves more than perpetrators and victims. Students are often witnesses to bullying incidents and may take on roles of bystanders or reinforcers who encourage bullies (Salimalvalli, 2001). Peers need to learn that there is no such thing as an innocent bystander, and how their group behavior can indirectly encourage bullies. (Stop Bullying, Speak UP! I know it takes a lot of courage to stand up to the bully, even if the bully is your friend but believe me, a friend who's not understanding of what's right and what's wrong is not worth your friendship! So speak up and don't fear, life's too short to live in regrets, when you can actually do something about something)
COURTESY:Standing Up For Victims of Bullies (Child or Adult)
