Embattled Innocence Of A Pearl

Okay, so today i was supposed to go to a workshop to learn about sleep management, which i did, but i learnt a lot more. Being yourself. I know it sounds cliched but and everyone keeps saying it nowadays, but it REALLY is the truth.

I met a person there who was getting his son home-schooled. Our conversation kinda went like this:

Me: Didn't you face any difficulties when you were going for this option?

Him: No. Why would I?

Me: like, didn't the people tell you it's wrong and stop this? Didn't people get in the way?

Him: No man. Just keep following your passion and keep it just to your God and Yourself and that is what counts the most.

And his son is an awesome guy who's so talented and pursuing multiple majors. And considering what our schools are like, that person preffered to call this phenomenon as "un-schooling" and it is great. Besides, what DO we learn from our high schools but to grow up to earn money? Which is totally wrong.

And i learnt that yeah, it is what counts the most. He was all about following your dreams and being true to your God and yourself and if it's the parents, then they would want what you want. You just have to convince them in a clear and refined manner that " This is my dream, and it doesn't matter what my uncle says or what your colleagues say, it doesn't matter if i don't earn enough money. What matters is that I'm doing what I'm passionate about and and I'm happy THIS way!" We also talked about how to discover yourself and this is what was the conclusion of that part:

"This life is given to us by Our God and we have to find what we are gifted with and that it doesn't go wasted. And we must try our level best to find what we are and what we are best suited for."

There's much more but i'm sorry that i'm summarizing it.

Anyways, coming back to me, i have a lot to say on this and i'll summarize it by excerpts from Katy Perry's song "Pearl", relating it to my life in my high school because my high school hasn't given me much to discover myself in terms of talent or skills. Just like a lot of the high schools in Pakistan, my high school also produces ROBOTS. And since i refused to be a robot, they killed me  (hypothetically speaking)

PEARL (Lyrics)

She (he: in my case)  is a pyramid
But with him (in there: in my case) she's just a grain of sand
This love's (resistance) too strong like mice and men
Squeezing out the life that should be let in

She (he) was a hurricane
But now she's (he's) just a gust of wind
She (he) used to set the sails of a thousand ships
Was a force to be reckoned with

She (he) could be a statue of liberty
She (he) could be Joan of Arc
But he’s (they're) scared of the light that’s inside of her (him)
So he (they) keeps (keep) her (him) in the dark

Oh she (he) used to be a pearl
Ohh yeah she (he) used to rule the world
Ohhhh cant believe she’s (he's) become a shell of herself
Cause she (he) used to be a pearl

I never get to be myself in my boarding school and no matter how hard i try to be myself, i'm always incomplete. And life there sucks for me. And people talk; they gossip and spread rumors about me when i try to be true to myself, and it's vicious. But they will suffer somewhere cuz of it. But right now, all that i care about is losing myself, and my life has become a constant struggle to keep up with my heart and the world.

But what i learnt today is that i should only keep up with my heart. That does not mean i should consider I'm right, i might be wrong, but at least I'm true and not doing something just cuz of the fear "WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK?".