How I Want to Die

I sit in class right now. And i don’t know what to do. As i listen to an old person tell me how the human body functions and fails, I fear. Fear of dying. But not just any dying; Dying unhealthy.

I have two theories about my death; 1) I’ll die young, 2) I’ll die in an accident. But how I wanna die is; DIE YOUNG. I know it’s just a fear, but it persists. I don’t want to die tired of life. Most people just exhaust. That is when all gets monotonous. And I don’t want my life to be monotonous. It’s tiring and not fun. And that is when life really exhausts. Apart from dying healthy, I wanna die young. I know it’s too much to ask for. It’s practically a sin to want to or wish to die, but I’ve seen too much to wish that. i don’t think I can die the way I want.

Our society claims to be “Islamic.” It’s not. it wants me to work like a robot for them till I die. Die old. Die battered. Die rusted. Dye broken. Die their puppet. But I don’t wanna be a puppet.. i don’t wanna just work, eat, sleep, fart and die of a heart attack. I wanna die having fun. I want death to be fun. I wanna embrace death like one meets an old friend that had to come and you had been waiting for it. I wanna sit down – no, lie down hugging it – with it and tell it how happy I am it’s here. I just want a happy death. And that’s that. Because in the end, all we do is  turn to ash and dust.

Only to be gone with the wind.