Insecurities

I leave my soft bed after three days. No load shedding. Just living in the coolness of my dreams. And when I enter college, I see everyone studying, I start hyper ventilating. I haven't studied. How can I? I have so many dreams to follow? I was too busy day dreaming and working, yes both, on the way to making my dreams come true that I forgot about reality. And now tat I'm back to it, it scares me. Am I too incompetent? No, I'm not. But there's so muchto do and so little time, I don't know what to do. So I just cry. And hold my heart as it feels like someone's squeezing/crushing it so bad. What else can I do? So I just let it be.

And after classes I decide to go relax by retail therapy. But as I come out of the stores and wait for my ride, I see this woman in really pretty clothes that I can tell by the looks is a poor woman. But she's dressed too good. And I see this little baby coming after her, carrying a pack of rice. Just playing with it. And as his mother walks ahead, the kid gets left behind. And I just watch it get left behind. Until his mother comes back to pick him up, scolding him to walk faster, when a car honks very rudely at them to get aside. Had it been a person like me, would the driver have honked? And that's the second time today I cried and my heart throbbed. Weird, I just wanna hug my mother right now.

And get home and again get lost in this perfect bubble I'm living in. Until I go back to college again...