Stripes of Black in the Rainbow

We all want to feel special. We all do one thing or another to get the attention. Sometimes it's a good thing. Sometimes it's bad. But when we do it, that's the only moment we feel it. Even if it's good, the rush doesn't last. And when it's bad, the rush lasts longer. You see, people only notice you when you go out of the norm. Whether you build a new robot that cleans old people's shit, or you shit on the people, it's the same thing. For the same reason. We all want to be noticed. But sometimes, we just want to get noticed by one person. That one person who doesn't see us. And when we hold it all in, we hurt ourselves. We hurt ourselves only to get noticed.

This life, it's all about who comes first. Nobody cares about who comes second. And that implies in those cases too where all we do is ruin lives of others. Somebody has got to be the first one to ruin someone's life. And in that vulnerable moment, there has got to be someone who has to be the first to calm you down. Say the right words. But it's just too long a wait. We can't keep holding on to hear those words. And then, someone just goes BAM! And mostly after the deadline.

As much as it is about being the first one to be noticed, in other worlds, we lose ourselves. We lose our identities. Just for the rush. Some do drugs, some work hard to win that extremely coveted board position,some just get drunk and go home with a stranger. But it's all about the rush, right? What do you do when the moment passes? You're just you then. Lonely and broken and tired. With no energy. You're just exhausted. All for what? And then you have nothing to get drunk on, drown in, and become - nothing but your tears.